One of our Clinical Psychologist Registrars, Megan Ansell, is trained in teaching Protective Behaviours, a personal safety program that teaches children skills and strategies for noticing and responding to unsafe situations. Parts of this program are now routinely taught in schools, but sometimes, because of difficult personal experiences or other individual needs, it’s better delivered 1:1 so it can be adapted to the child.
Here’s what Megan says about working with families around protective behaviours:
I love working with children and families on Protective Behaviours. It’s critical education for improving the safety of our communities for children, and it feels important to create a space for difficult and often avoided conversations.
The core themes of protective behaviour that I share with families are
- We all have a right to feel safe at all times and,
- We can talk to someone about anything, no matter what it is.
Some basic tips I give to families are:
- Talk about emotions—it’s hard for kids to identify what it feels like to be unsafe (early warning signs) if they can’t recognise, label, and understand their emotions. Start by modelling noticing emotions in yourself. For example, “Oh, that dog barked so loud just now, it gave me a fright! I felt my heart going faster….boom boom boom, and my legs being a bit shaky.” Then, you could play guessing games with the child about what you are each feeling, or what their favourite characters are feeling and what body signs they might be getting.
- Try to use the correct names for body parts – this means that they can communicate clearly with adults if anything happens to them and be understood quicker. It’s very difficult for children to disclose abuse if they don’t have the shared language to do so.
- Talk explicitly about the difference between private and public (body parts, touch, places, behaviour and information). For example, describe the toilet and shower as private parts of the house, their address as private information, and their genitals and chest as private parts of their body. These things are just for them.
- Talk about safe and unsafe touch. Talk about things like consent in day-to-day life. Talk explicitly about how somebody touching their private parts is not a safe kind of touch.
- Teach the difference between safe and unsafe secrets. Some secrets (like birthday surprises) are safe; keeping them private doesn’t hurt anybody. Other secrets are about things that feel scary, break safety rules and involve threats are not safe.
- Help your children choose and memorise their safety network. This is five adults who are available to them, listen to them, believe them and help them. Once they know who their safety network is, you can start talking about persistence, making sure they know they should keep telling different adults until they get the help they need and their unsafe feelings go away.
Books and videos to share with kids:
- Some secrets should never be kept: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YjJ1MreZqs
- No Means No: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISP-fo8N1rE&t=2s
- Listening to My Body: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-B6Rik-TA-Q
- Safety school about feelings, body signs, body parts and safety helper for early years: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1i7HoGwSejs
- Body parts, boundaries and helpers for lower primary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xf3xffNqWgPrivate
- Safety network, warning signs of being unsafe and telling an adult for lower primary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUz9X4n_B9s&t=98s
Resources for parents:
- Daniel Morcombe Foundation: https://danielmorcombe.com.au/
- Department of Education Protective Behaviours Parent resource: https://www.cavershamps.wa.edu.au/…/protective…
- Free resources about body safety and consent: https://e2epublishing.info/
- Internet safety resources: https://www.esafety.gov.au/parents
- Personal Safety videos for children and young adolescents: https://www.youtube.com/@fightchildabuse1913
- Resources for use with very young children about emotions- staring sesame street characters: https://sesameworkshop.org/…/social…/childrens-feelings/
There are also help resources available here if you need support:
